I should be studying now.
Trail of thoughts- 28
When I first bought a size 32 jeans, I was surprised. I was scared too. Why do I need a bigger pant? So I’m not just fat, I’m getting fatter now?
I hated the feeling. It lasted a while. When I wore them for the first time, the stormy tornado in my chest calmed down and a summer breeze hit my heart. It felt like a long drive down the bridge with the beautiful clear river on either side.
As I was processing it, my mind so confused, a smile was born on my face. My hands in the air, my hair in the breeze, the cycle floating down the bridge, it felt like a revolution.
The land I was leaving was so dark and thorny; it was full of fluffy colours but very so aching. I was almost always breathless and fearful of what might happen. The unpredictability ate up my mind and my mouth toothless.
The land I was so happily leaving,
The land I no longer belong to,
The land I no longer fit into,
It’s the very land that loved me once;
It’s the very land, I once loved too.
Now I no longer stay there, my ride is here and I leave. But it’s hard; even though I couldn’t stay there anymore, it was once my home. Once a home, may not always be a home to me, but would always be a loving place I want to remember. So, as I was leaving, I hurriedly packed some flowers in my pockets and with flowers, I carry the thorns. What’s a human without pain?
What’s a human without memories?
I’m a human.
We are all humans,
After all.
I reached the other side of the bridge, the not so long ride ended here. i am picking up flowers and stuffing them on top of my thorns. The fluffy softness is healing my scarred heart.
I can now breathe,
I can now be at peace.
[This is about me getting a bigger pair of jeans and loving it. I donated my previous pairs, dw <3]
This was me after watching ted-ed’s ‘How to write descriptively - Nalo Hopkinson’
i hope you love this piece as much as i loved writing it!! my friend almost cried when i showed her this. that made me so happy, happy that my writing can make someone cry 😭🥺
love you so much for reading this till the end!!
yours lovingly, Rini.
TDD: ten day diary hiiii my loviessss (hahahaha) i feel like im on a self help journey, im trying to change to be a better person. so strange yet awesome till now. sooo how are youuuuuu? i hope your march is treating you well! i dont have much to say lol, imma yeet
byee!!!! i love you <33